It’s obviously been a while since I did my last post. I really have no other excuse as to why I didn’t post more than the fact I got lazy. I was on my high (refer to my last post) and then I went back down.
And here I am. Not necessarily on a full on high, but coming back into the up of things again.
I have been reading, listening, watching lots of motivational/law of attraction books and I keep finding myself lacking in something they all mention.
To really know what you want from life.
Meaning to have a defined, well thought out vision of what you want. I have always thought that I knew what I wanted. Turns out, it was too broad to really allow myself to set real visions.
” I want to be happy”
” I want to be wealthy”
” I want love for myself and those around me”
By setting these broad terms as my goals, it never painted a real picture of my desitnation. I knew these would be states of emotions I wanted to be in, but I didn’t visualize the life I was wanting to live. I never thought that I didn’t know what I wanted out of life.
I really don’t know what the hell I want.
The moment I realized this was pretty sobering.
Well, shit. I’m already 31 and how come I haven’t figured my life out already?!? What am I supposed to do with my life? What are my talents? How can I help people? How can I live a fulfilled life? AM I STUCK AT THE BIG C FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE??!!??!!
That last question really hit hard with me.
For those of you who don’t know (or care), I work at for a BIG company that sells a products at a warehouse for wholesale prices. Their name sounds something like Schmostco.
Ahhhh……THE BIG C!!
The GOLDEN HANDCUFFS of retail.
See, at the Big C, they do a pretty damn good job of “taking care” of it’s employees.
*I say it like that because I’d like to reference Caroline Myss in her wonderful books, Energy Anatomy and Advance Anatomy Energy. IF you have the time to look up her, please do. She has incredible insight and understanding of our 4 main archetypes we carry within us. This is referring to the Child Archetype. The Child is always looking for something to “take care” of it.
They pay you amazingly compared to other places. They have amazing benefits, sick and vacation pay, and (if you stick with them long enough) great bonuses twice a year. I mean, I don’t know where I could go with only having a high school diploma, only able to work part time and make $20-something an hour while reaping those benefits?
*yo, Big C…I just plugged ya there. You’re welcome.
Do you see how they can handcuff you in? And there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with working here. It’s actually pretty fun and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to work here. It’s helped me become who I am and how I see/treat people and I have made some of the most amazing friendships from being here.
But, it’s not my life’s dream.
It’s pretty easy for me to look at things in life and say what I truly don’t want. I don’t want to be there forever. I don’t want to feel unfulfilled in life. I don’t want sadness. I don’t want to have my talents go to waste (whatever those may be). I for sure know that. But from my learnings about the law of attraction has shown me I wasn’t focusing on the right thing. I can’t focus on the NO’s of my life, cause that’s where my energy and attraction are going. To the NO’s. I have to learn to focus on the YES’s in my life.
Do I want to find a fulfilling carrer? YES.
Do I love helping people? YES.
Do I want to have fun in life? HELL FUCKING YES!
I think we deny ourselves the true energy of YES. Not the mere instant gratifications of the day to day that we think are our true desires, but the most loving, most rewarding, most uplifting YES. The YES that our soul and mind truly need. The YES that serves our higher selves and brings us to the realness of who we are.
Am I getting a little to hippy shit on you? Hear me out,
Let’s say we want a piece of delicious chocolate cake after a bad day at work.
*for those in Utah County, you must stop by at The Chocolate in Orem, and get a slice of the Husband cake. It’s soooo good! It’s semi-orgasmic. Hey, maybe that’s why she named it the Husband?!? Whoa.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a piece of cake. But if you ask yourself why you want one, you start to dig to the real YES of your desire. Pretend your Higher Self is asking you why…over and over.
Brain: I want cake.
Real Me: WHY?
Brain: I want cake cause cake is hella good.
Real Me: WHY?
Brain: Cause it’s tastes good and the sugar gives me energy and feel goods.
Real Me: WHY?
Brain: Cause I’m craving the dopamine release.
Real Me: WHY?
Brain: Cause chemically I need something to keep me up and sugar is a fast way to increase dopamines instead of drugs. And I ain’t got no drugs.
Real Me: WHY?
Brain: You know, you’re being a real asshole right now. You want to know why? Cause I am feeling emotionally drained and need a pick me up and cake sounds great to help me. I know I have my problem I need to work on my feelings, and you’re right. I don’t want to deal with it right now. I want to bury my feelings with sugar and chocolate. I don’t feel strong enough to handle my shit. I just want to feel good.
Real Me: WHY?
Brain: Really?! I just told you! I want to feel good about myself, my life, life in general. You know what? I don’t even want that damn piece of cake now, you made me feel even more like shit. I’m gonna just work on my problem and fix it so you can’t be an asshole to me anymore. I’m just going to always work on feeling good so you can shut the hell up!
Real ME: Great! I’m glad you could get to the real reason you want to do something to cover up how you really feel. Let’s work on living a better life and making better choices to be your Highest Self. I love you and go enjoy that cake, but remember what you said!
You see, sometimes we think we are saying YES to things that we really want, when in reality they are justifications and excuses to things that are the true YES we need.
We need I need to learn to look at my hearts true desires and the true YES’s to really understand what I want out of life. No longer looking for instant yes’s to help me get by, but the big YES to what I want. I know if I can keep up with this, life will be more magical and by the law of attraction, I will have all the real YES’s I want instead of the NO’s.
Then I can truly live a fulfilled life.
I know this is easier said than done, but remember it’s about acknowledging the real issues and understanding your problem so you can live to your HIGHEST SELF.
What are your real YES’s? Have you allowed your Highest Self to come thru, or have you let your justifications take over? What are ways that you’ve learned to allow the real YES to show up in life?
DO I WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS AND GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF LIFE?
HELL EFFEN YES.